Sample Essay 1 Reading Exercise | Homework Writing

I’m working on a English question and need guidance to help me study.

INSTRUCTIONS

Read the student sample of Essay 1. Then answer the questions about the essay.

SAMPLE OF ESSAY 1 (Rhetorical Analysis Essay)

1 Should breast cancer be used as a way for companies to profit in the name of awareness? The author Chavie Lieber (speaker) of the Ted Talk, “The Very Pink, Very Controversial Business ofBreast Cancer” (title of the Ted Talk) disagrees with how breast cancer is being commodified as some companies take advantage of breast cancer awareness month and are not being honest about whether or not all the profits are going to breast cancer research (the thesis of the Ted Talk). One audience she attempts to convince is the consumers (audience for the your Ted Talk) who buy the pink Breast Cancer Awareness Month products. She is mostly convincing in her use of examples, ethos, and refuting the opponent. However, when using examples, a couple of them aren’t specific enough; therefore, a portion of her argument lacks credibility.

2 One of Lieber’s strategies that she uses to prove her argument is examples. Lieber lists many examples throughout the article such as when she claims that brands benefit from profits rather than donations during breast cancer awareness month. She then states, “Last year, Yoplait said it would donate up to $1.5 million to Komen. You have to compare the donation to the full amount that Yoplait actually made from those yogurts – it’s significantly more” (Lieber 12). Another example is when she lists all the businesses that have contradictory partnerships with the breast cancer organization, Susan G. Komen. The author then lists these companies by bringing up Baker Hughes, an oil company that claims to give $100,000. Though, the author states that it’s process of fracking, “…is believed to expose people to carcinogenic chemicals linked to breast cancer” (10). The author also lists companies such as KFC, the “Promise Me”fragrance, as well as Ford Motor Company for partnering up with Komen despite the potential health issues that are connected to breast cancer. These and more examples are consistently in the author’s article is to ensure the reader that she is credible because the reader can see all these corporations that are used as evidence to support her claim making the reader more convinced in the author’s argument. The examples would not only make the audience believe Lieber but might also persuade the audience of consumers to stay away from certain products or brands that could probably cause health risks.

3 Although the author lists many examples, a couple of them seem to be too vague for them to be taken seriously by the audience. For example, when the author mentions Yoplait, she states a quote by Angela Wall, the communications director of San Francisco, that states, “You have to compare the donation to the full amount that Yoplait actually made from those yogurts – it’s significantly more” (qtd. in Lieber 12). The reader can’t help but ask, “how much more?” A million? A thousand? This particular example doesn’t have enough detail and might lead the reader to be confused. Another example that isn’t specific enough is where the author mentions that the “Promise Me” Fragrance had “toxic ingredients” (10). The audience might also be wondering what kind of toxic ingredients there are in the product or if it’s linked to breast cancer at all. By leaving out details, it could lead to the reader feeling puzzled or not convinced by the author’s argument and instead leaving them skeptical throughout the rest of the article.

4 Neverthelss, Chavie Lieber redeems her argument by using ethos to appeal to the readers’ values. For example, the author criticizes the commodification of breast cancer awareness month and introduces the problem she has with it by stating, “The cottage industry is completely unregulated, with a great deal of brands failing to disclose exactly how much money they actually donate – not to mention that charities don’t always share where the money goes either”(Lieber 3). Here, the author appeals to the audience’s values. The reader might feel like they are being taken advantage of as consumers because they are being mislead to think that all of their money donated through the purchase of pink Breast Cancer Awareness products might not be supporting breast cancer research. Most people don’t want to be taken advantage of, so this example of ethos might sway the readers to agree with the author. Another example is after the Lieber lists all the corporations that have contradictory partnerships. She then follows with a statement from Wall once more. Wall then goes on to say, “This is a disease women are dying from, and we are funding the very items that cause the disease. Meanwhile, there’s a huge profit cycle, where billions of dollars are made, and we are funding the very items that cause the disease” (qtd. in Lieber 11). The author adds this quote in order to appeal to the audience’s values because some might consider it immoral for corporations that sell products that cause breast cancer while earning profits from breast cancer awareness. As a result, the consumers might stop buying their products and opt for supporting businesses that live up to ethical standards.

5 When arguing against another person’s opinion, it’s important for the author to address the other side of someone else’s stance on the matter before criticizing their argument. Lieber does this when she refutes the opponent. First, she points out an opposing viewpoint concerning Breast Cancer Awareness Month when she states, “Those who want to play devil’s advocate might stop and wonder: What’s so bad about spreading awareness? Isn’t getting the message out important, too?” (19). The author refutes this opposing view point by saying that part of the problem of Breast Cancer Awareness Month is the spread of misinformation about pink products as well as getting checked for breast cancer (19). She then quotes Gayle Sulik, a medical sociologist at the University of Albany, who claims, “People are getting bad information, and I’d rather get no information than bad information. There are campaigns that encourage breast exams . . . but breast self-exams have not been found to help find tumors early and are not recommended by the National Cancer Institute or the World Health Organization” (20). As a result, the refuting the opponent technique might make the audience doubtful of the information that is spread during Breast Cancer Awareness month. It could also help them see the author as a fair person who has considered other points of view besides her own, making her seem fair. This technique could also transfer over to the rest of her argument because if she’s fair enough to respectfully present other points of view, then perhaps the audience will see her as believable and will accept the points she makes in the rest of her argument as well.

6 To persuade her audience, Chavie Lieber uses examples, ethos as well as refuting the opponent. For the most part, her strategies seem to be very effective until she fails to provide specific details in her examples that might lead her audience to be skeptical of her article. Despite this, the author’s rhetorical strategies are strong enough to convince consumers to make wiser purchases during Breast Cancer Awareness Month that really benefit breast cancer research.

QUESTIONS

1. In paragraph 1, the student’s introduction, the students reveals the thesis of the essay. What is the student’s thesis (the main point that is supported by the body paragraphs)?

2. Besides the thesis, what else does the student mention in the introduction (paragraph 1)?

3. In paragraph 2, the first body paragraph, what is the topic sentence (the main point of the paragraph)?

4. In paragraph 3, the second body paragraph, the student adds an evaluation of the author’s argument. This is not a requirement of the Essay 1 assignment, but I encourage you to add an evaluation if you see some weaknesses in the argument you have chosen. According to the student, what is weak about some of the author’s examples?

5. In paragraph 4, the third body paragraph, the student writes about the author’s use of ethos. What is an example that the student uses to illustrate the author’s use of ethos?

6. In paragraph 5, the fourth body paragraph, the student writes about the author’s use of refuting the opponent. In which sentences does the student explain the possible effect of the refuting opponent technique on the audience?

7. In paragraph 6, the conclusion, what does the student do to conclude the essay?

INSTRUCTIONS

Read the student sample of Essay 1. Then answer the questions about the essay.

SAMPLE OF ESSAY 1 (Rhetorical Analysis Essay)

1 Should breast cancer be used as a way for companies to profit in the name of awareness? The author Chavie Lieber (speaker) of the Ted Talk, “The Very Pink, Very Controversial Business ofBreast Cancer” (title of the Ted Talk) disagrees with how breast cancer is being commodified as some companies take advantage of breast cancer awareness month and are not being honest about whether or not all the profits are going to breast cancer research (the thesis of the Ted Talk). One audience she attempts to convince is the consumers (audience for the your Ted Talk) who buy the pink Breast Cancer Awareness Month products. She is mostly convincing in her use of examples, ethos, and refuting the opponent. However, when using examples, a couple of them aren’t specific enough; therefore, a portion of her argument lacks credibility.

2 One of Lieber’s strategies that she uses to prove her argument is examples. Lieber lists many examples throughout the article such as when she claims that brands benefit from profits rather than donations during breast cancer awareness month. She then states, “Last year, Yoplait said it would donate up to $1.5 million to Komen. You have to compare the donation to the full amount that Yoplait actually made from those yogurts – it’s significantly more” (Lieber 12). Another example is when she lists all the businesses that have contradictory partnerships with the breast cancer organization, Susan G. Komen. The author then lists these companies by bringing up Baker Hughes, an oil company that claims to give $100,000. Though, the author states that it’s process of fracking, “…is believed to expose people to carcinogenic chemicals linked to breast cancer” (10). The author also lists companies such as KFC, the “Promise Me”fragrance, as well as Ford Motor Company for partnering up with Komen despite the potential health issues that are connected to breast cancer. These and more examples are consistently in the author’s article is to ensure the reader that she is credible because the reader can see all these corporations that are used as evidence to support her claim making the reader more convinced in the author’s argument. The examples would not only make the audience believe Lieber but might also persuade the audience of consumers to stay away from certain products or brands that could probably cause health risks.

3 Although the author lists many examples, a couple of them seem to be too vague for them to be taken seriously by the audience. For example, when the author mentions Yoplait, she states a quote by Angela Wall, the communications director of San Francisco, that states, “You have to compare the donation to the full amount that Yoplait actually made from those yogurts – it’s significantly more” (qtd. in Lieber 12). The reader can’t help but ask, “how much more?” A million? A thousand? This particular example doesn’t have enough detail and might lead the reader to be confused. Another example that isn’t specific enough is where the author mentions that the “Promise Me” Fragrance had “toxic ingredients” (10). The audience might also be wondering what kind of toxic ingredients there are in the product or if it’s linked to breast cancer at all. By leaving out details, it could lead to the reader feeling puzzled or not convinced by the author’s argument and instead leaving them skeptical throughout the rest of the article.

4 Neverthelss, Chavie Lieber redeems her argument by using ethos to appeal to the readers’ values. For example, the author criticizes the commodification of breast cancer awareness month and introduces the problem she has with it by stating, “The cottage industry is completely unregulated, with a great deal of brands failing to disclose exactly how much money they actually donate – not to mention that charities don’t always share where the money goes either”(Lieber 3). Here, the author appeals to the audience’s values. The reader might feel like they are being taken advantage of as consumers because they are being mislead to think that all of their money donated through the purchase of pink Breast Cancer Awareness products might not be supporting breast cancer research. Most people don’t want to be taken advantage of, so this example of ethos might sway the readers to agree with the author. Another example is after the Lieber lists all the corporations that have contradictory partnerships. She then follows with a statement from Wall once more. Wall then goes on to say, “This is a disease women are dying from, and we are funding the very items that cause the disease. Meanwhile, there’s a huge profit cycle, where billions of dollars are made, and we are funding the very items that cause the disease” (qtd. in Lieber 11). The author adds this quote in order to appeal to the audience’s values because some might consider it immoral for corporations that sell products that cause breast cancer while earning profits from breast cancer awareness. As a result, the consumers might stop buying their products and opt for supporting businesses that live up to ethical standards.

5 When arguing against another person’s opinion, it’s important for the author to address the other side of someone else’s stance on the matter before criticizing their argument. Lieber does this when she refutes the opponent. First, she points out an opposing viewpoint concerning Breast Cancer Awareness Month when she states, “Those who want to play devil’s advocate might stop and wonder: What’s so bad about spreading awareness? Isn’t getting the message out important, too?” (19). The author refutes this opposing view point by saying that part of the problem of Breast Cancer Awareness Month is the spread of misinformation about pink products as well as getting checked for breast cancer (19). She then quotes Gayle Sulik, a medical sociologist at the University of Albany, who claims, “People are getting bad information, and I’d rather get no information than bad information. There are campaigns that encourage breast exams . . . but breast self-exams have not been found to help find tumors early and are not recommended by the National Cancer Institute or the World Health Organization” (20). As a result, the refuting the opponent technique might make the audience doubtful of the information that is spread during Breast Cancer Awareness month. It could also help them see the author as a fair person who has considered other points of view besides her own, making her seem fair. This technique could also transfer over to the rest of her argument because if she’s fair enough to respectfully present other points of view, then perhaps the audience will see her as believable and will accept the points she makes in the rest of her argument as well.

6 To persuade her audience, Chavie Lieber uses examples, ethos as well as refuting the opponent. For the most part, her strategies seem to be very effective until she fails to provide specific details in her examples that might lead her audience to be skeptical of her article. Despite this, the author’s rhetorical strategies are strong enough to convince consumers to make wiser purchases during Breast Cancer Awareness Month that really benefit breast cancer research.

QUESTIONS

1. In paragraph 1, the student’s introduction, the students reveals the thesis of the essay. What is the student’s thesis (the main point that is supported by the body paragraphs)?

2. Besides the thesis, what else does the student mention in the introduction (paragraph 1)?

3. In paragraph 2, the first body paragraph, what is the topic sentence (the main point of the paragraph)?

4. In paragraph 3, the second body paragraph, the student adds an evaluation of the author’s argument. This is not a requirement of the Essay 1 assignment, but I encourage you to add an evaluation if you see some weaknesses in the argument you have chosen. According to the student, what is weak about some of the author’s examples?

5. In paragraph 4, the third body paragraph, the student writes about the author’s use of ethos. What is an example that the student uses to illustrate the author’s use of ethos?

6. In paragraph 5, the fourth body paragraph, the student writes about the author’s use of refuting the opponent. In which sentences does the student explain the possible effect of the refuting opponent technique on the audience?

7. In paragraph 6, the conclusion, what does the student do to conclude the essay?