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Watch the following video:

Your goal is to get rejected at least 5 times

(adapted from

Write requests on index cards.

You should be able to ask these questions, either to someone you know or to a stranger, and accept “no” for an answer. Write requests that you are likely to be turned down for, so that you can win more quickly.

Here are some examples:

  • Ask for a good discount on purchases of services or products
  • Sell something to them for a rather high price
  • Play a sports game in a stranger’s yard
  • Take a picture with a person (for no reason)
  • Ask for a piece of chewing gum
  • Ask for a ride in their car
  • Ask for a date
  • Ask for someone’s phone number
  • Ask to cut ahead in line

  1. Grab a card and try to get rejected.

    Ask for something that you expect to be turned down for, because if the answer is “yes,” it doesn’t count.

    1. If someone says yes, it means you haven’t won yet! Grab another card or find a different person to ask.
    2. If someone says no, you won! Nod graciously, accept the answer, and walk away in triumph.
  2. Be considerate and polite with your requests

    Be conscious of the other person’s boundaries, and make it clear that this is a casual request
    (with no pressure).

    1. Keep all your requests and comments respectful of the other person’s body. Don’t say anything sexual or rude about their appearance.
    2. Take no for an answer. If the person says no, say “okay,” shrug your shoulders, and walk away.
    3. Recognize that some people have a very strong sense of stranger danger (particularly more vulnerable groups, such as women and disabled people). If the person seems too uncomfortable, apologize and leave
  3. Start small

    Try holding a practice session by explaining the game to a family member, and having them reject a request. Then move on to the request that feels least stressful to you
    (for example, maybe you want to ask your friend to let you drive today).

  4. Cope with the no

    This may be difficult if you are usually afraid of rejection. Give yourself a little extra pampering and remind yourself that it’s okay. It will get easier with practice. As you improve, you will begin to get used to strange looks, rude comments from grumpy people, and outright dismissal of everything you’re “trying” to achieve.

  5. Recognize what you have to gain

    Rejection therapy can help you become braver and more emotionally resilient, because you will become better able to handle a “no.”

    1. Be more aware of how irrational social fears control and restrict our lives
    2. Learn from, and even enjoy each and every new rejection
    3. Do not be attached to outcomes, especially when it involves the free agency of other people
    4. Permit yourself to fail
  6. Finally

    Write a self-reflection that includes:

    1. A summary of each rejection attempt (including fails)
    2. A summary of the experience of rejection from first trial to last trial and how that may change your behavior in the future
    3. Describe how the concept of rejection is socially constructed. Does changing the goal of a request from getting granted to being rejected change how we see rejection overall?
    4. Relate your observations to information in your text and/or other published scholarly works. At least two references are required, one of which may be your textbook. USE CH. 8 thinking, language, and intelligence. AND CH. 11 social psychology.
      Paper should be three pages, add a reference page in APA Style. Be sure to start your paper with an introductory paragraph, giving an overview of your paper and ending in a thesis statement (the purpose of your paper). End your paper with a concluding paragraph, summarizing main themes of your paper. Your paper should be written in APA format and style (an abstract is not needed).

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